From Kenny
Categories: Movies, WritingKenny sent me the worst script ever. I was disgusted by it and didn’t plan to post anything, but I couldn’t believe the action text, so here are my two favorite parts (I’ll change the names on the off-chance the writer googles his own work constantly and wants to sue kenny):
1.
Cathy and Bobby eat and watch a movie. Then they have sex one, two, three times.
2.
Two hours later Bobby walks in the house. He mistakes Tracy for Cathy on the couch. He wants to surprise Cathy and starts eating her out. Tracy wakes up.
TRACY
What the fuck is you doing to me?
Kenny, I hope you keep that script quarantined on your computer. Now let’s never speak of it again.
Tracy has some subject-verb agreement issues. Nothing that one, two, three rounds of good old-fashioned sex won’t remedy!
Comment by John W. — July 12, 2006 @ 12:50 am
I also liked the sluglines like:
INT. FIFTEEN YEARS LATER
or
INT. OUTSIDE THE CLUB
Oops. Right. Never again.
Comment by kenny — July 12, 2006 @ 3:46 am
These last few posts about bad scripts have been hilarious. The new comments and blog host are much improved, I must say. Though, anti-spam measures are very annoying. 232871, I got a prime!
I have to ask though, is it creepy that this John Waste guy is apparently the same exact person as you from two years ago and with basically the same exact blog?
Comment by Brendan — July 13, 2006 @ 12:10 am
John and I are different in many ways. For instance, he enjoys pot and is a history major.
For more information on how John and I differ, consult John and I.
Comment by tiltedfish — July 13, 2006 @ 9:12 am